It's okay to say "no" to your thoughts.
My brain can be a minefield of damaged and damaging thoughts. While the better parts of me know that, it's hard not to get swept away in our thoughts and emotions. I think, therefore I am, right?
Now, when someone I love says something ignorant or wrong, I know how to hold my love for them and say, "nope" to whatever idea they have. I can change my TV channel and stop watching a dumb show.
And I can say "no" to my thoughts.
"Nope, not going down that spiral of self-hatred. I am not listening to that voice today."
If I can learn to speak out against things in the world, I can learn to speak out against myself when I need to.
Is this thought bringing me growth or trying to keep me small? Is this accomplishing making me a better person, or am I just beating myself up for things I wouldn't beat up anyone else?
A little while ago, a thought occurred to me that changed some of my thinking. Perhaps it's simple and perhaps it's not something you need to hear, but here it is:
It's okay to say no to your thoughts.
When this came to me, it changed a lot for me. As an anxious, depressed person, I often feel captive to my thoughts. They can feel minimizing and paralyzing.
I'm trying to learn (and it's a process that requires consciously reminding myself, which I am not always able to do) that when I think thoughts that are self-hateful or rooted in fears that I realistically know are unmerited, I can decide they don't matter. Just like when someone says something I know is wrong or is misinformed, I can recognize that my thoughts are sometimes rooted in my illness or the unhealthy ways I've learned to navigate the world.
Like when I look in the mirror and my mind jumps to all of the criticisms of my physical appearance, I can say no to those thoughts because I know that my body weight is relatively stable and falls within a healthy range for someone my height. My signs of age are proof that I have survived everything I've survived. They're proof that I've spent 33 years improving myself and I have no desire to go back 15 years. My stretch marks are signs my body gave me that maybe I needed to be healthier, but they're also scars of eating disorders and depression. They're more proof of survival. They're also proof of my body's ability to adapt. My body is healthy. My body looks like my ancestors and people I love. My body has gotten me here. If I believe in progress or resurrection or guidance from God or wisdom -- or all of those things-- then I believe that all of what brings me to where I am is a journey ordained by the universe, particularized to my soul, so that I might learn more.
When I feel hate within myself, no matter where it's directed, I have to try to re-train myself to love. So when I think those self-hateful thoughts, I can say "nope," and choose to exit that internal conversation, just like I can choose to walk away from any jerk who disrespects me.
Not today, brain. Not today.
So here's today's truth: It's okay to say no to your thoughts.
What thoughts do you find it's healthy to say no to? Are there thoughts you find yourself lured into and losing control of?
So I like to try to stay informed about what happens in the Holy Land. Here is a playlist of recent news videos, in case you also care to stay informed:
I don't know what will happen in the 2020 elections. I don't even know what will happen in elections this November. If this political era has taught us anything, it's that the story we think we're in can change drastically from week to week.
I don't know who the Democratic nominee will be, but I wonder....
If (IF) Trump doesn't win in 2020, what will happen? I fear that Trump will not accept the election results, and since he will still be in power in that moment, what will he do?
One thing I've learned from Shonda Rhimes is that dancing can help with stress. I also think dancing around my house is a good way to move my body for a while.
Maybe try it? Make one or a few playlists and make a ritual of dancing for 20 minutes each day. Just get down by yourself and see how it makes you feel.
Most studies show that most behavioral changes become habit after one month and also seem to start producing effects within a similar time frame.
Well, according to Ezekiel 1 they might look something like this…
According to Daniel 10 something like this…
According to Isaiah 6…
In Ezekiel 10…
Again in Ezekiel 10…
Basically, when the people writing Scripture tried to describe what they saw when they saw an angel… they run into the end of their imagination… they can never quite seem to fully explain it because they had trouble even comprehending what they saw, let alone being able to describe it to someone else.
Yeah, that’s usually how people responded to seeing them in the Bible…
There’s a good reason why angels’ standard greeting is ‘Do not be afraid’.
